Tuesday, 22 December 2009

Recently Acquired Addictions

In the past fortnight, I have managed to acquire two new addictions. Two brand new dysfunctional strings to my bow. They are namely, Quality Street, and the internet. My excuse for the Quality Street is: it's Christmas. However, the internet habit has taken root altogether more deeply methinks. Both my internet connection, and the sufficient computer literacy required to navigate it, are a total novelty. I finally decided to join the 21st century when, upon asking My Mother for a set of encyclopaedias last Christmas, she scoffed: 'But daarling, you really must get yourself on the bloody internet'. My Mother swears like a navvy - it's the poshest tourette's you've ever heard.

It's taken me this long to actually do it. I think in the back of my mind there was a fear that when I finally began my techno venture I would immediately discover I had been living in a dreary half-world, pointlessly devoid of links, rss feeds, and face-book. Which was not entirely unfounded as it turns out. Discovering the internet a decade after everyone else feels a bit like hearing a joke you're not in on, only to discover that the rest of the world has been pissing itself laughing at it for years.

What all of this means, is that while my children have been staying with their fathers for the past two days; instead of really getting anything done, I have spent the whole time holed up with my tin of Quality Street in the tiny cupboard under the stairs which passes for an 'office'. I have ventured out once to do some Christmas shopping. I must say the daylight seemed uncomfortably bright...

Last night my friend J came round to do some washing (her machine has packed up just in time for Christmas) only to declare that I was now officially a 'nerd'. A computer addicted hermit. Actually, I think I'm just making up for lost time.

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