Saturday 12 June 2010

Roll up, roll up! It's The Bad Mummy Moments Carnival!


Yes, I know what you're all thinking. What's with the picture? Not exactly seasonal is it Gappy? But please bear with me, for all will soon be revealed....

You see I have (after some fairly perfunctory how-to research) decided to host a carnival. I thought that perhaps it would be a good way to help us bloggers come together and discover some new authors, and that also the theme, "Bad Mummy Moments" (don't snigger, it took me bloody ages to come up with that) might provide us all with some laughs and reassurance along the way. I suppose that strictly speaking I should have called it "Bad Parenting Moments" but that didn't have quite the same alliterative ring to it, so "Bad Mummy Moments" it is, although of course anyone who would like to join in is more than welcome.

Soooo if you would care to write (or already have) a post detailing your finest slackest hour, simply leave a link to it in the comments section or e-mail it to me so that I can feel so much better about myself No! I mean so that we can all support each other and take comfort in the shared knowledge that there is no such thing as a perfect mother - and that as long as we are genuinely doing our very best - then that is good enough. Your post can be humorous, thoughtful, poetic, or whatever you feel. The carnival will go live on Thursday 24th June and the author of my favourite post will receive a special prize...

And so back to the picture. That picture actually accompanied one of the first posts that I ever wrote. I have decided to re-publish it here as my own contribution to the Bad Mummy Moments carnival as I distinctly remember worrying at the time that the drawing of satanist snowmen might just be considered reasonable justification by my sons teacher for a discreet wee call to social services... I give you:

Sinister Seasons Greetings


Tis the season to be jolly... And with that in mind presumably, my sons were asked by their teachers a while ago to design christmas cards, which could then be printed out and bought by parents wishing to send personalised seasons greetings to family and friends. I gave the school what seemed an inconceivable amount of money, in advance, for four packs of five.

Today Eldest Son comes out of school grinning proudly and gives me a stack of cards with what appears to be some sort of evil snowman on them. On closer inspection, one can see the snowman is carrying a forked staff, and is sporting sharp red horns. He is surrounded by ice blue snowflakes, and if you look really closely you can see a vague smudge of red around the mouth, as if he had failed to scrub up properly after feasting on bloodied corpses. The 'Merry Christmas' written on his body looks like an oddly obscure threat. 'We could send one to Grandma' chirrups Eldest Son happily.


Now Eldest Sons favourite song is Monty Pythons 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life'. His favourite and most oft repeated lyric (regularly sung with gusto whilst zapping aliens on the computer) is: 'Always look on the bright side of death. Just before you draw your terminal breath'...

Ever wonder if perhaps you're doing something wrong?


26 comments:

  1. Very funny, did you send any of those devil cards out? Will have a think about a post for this.

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  2. I think an interest in the macabre for most kids is healthy - their way of trying to deal with the scariest of all subjects: death.

    However, that sounds very po-faced and not at all in the fun spirit of your post. At first I was pretty sure that I had never ever blogged about my bad parenting moments, preferring instead to give the impression that I am all encompassing god-head of perfect parenting. And then I remembered this: Dropping The Baby. It still makes me grimace to remember it.

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  3. ohh I am sure I have loads I can share, will have a think and mail you. Mich x

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  4. Love that snowman! nothing say Christmas like a bit of mennace! lol

    I am sure I have loads of these...ooh, I've just thought of one...this one is about not paying attention to what my daughter is saying to me

    http://www.rukakuusamo.com/notesfromlapland/2010/04/i-am-a-stick-2.html

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  5. Ha ha ha!!

    Here is my post, its actually called Bad Mummy Moment!

    http://mummynew.blogspot.com/2010/04/bad-mummy-moment.html

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  6. Is this the same son that drew the tardis that strangely resembled a phallus?? Dear God Gappy what are you doing wrong?
    I would love to join in your carnival - I've always wanted to enter one but I think for the BMB ones you need to be, well, British.
    I'll get thinking but I'm sure it won't take too long....

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  7. Musings of a Mother, No. That was my other son. Whether that's better or worse, I'm not sure ;-)

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  8. I am a little bit scared of snowmen (don't ask) so would probably faint if I received that card!
    This post is a bit disgusting but was a Mummy fail for me...

    http://clareybabble.blogspot.com/2009/12/mummy-im-thirsty.html

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  9. Oohh, will be really looking forward to this carnival. When I am trying to go asleep tonight I will rustle through those memories that I have tried to supress lol.

    Great card, you could always focus on his 'individuality'? :D Jen.

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  10. I've got one, actually I've probably got loads, but here's a recent one...
    http://itsasmallworldafterallfamily.wordpress.com/2010/05/17/on-mice-ice-rinks-and-sweeping-chimneys/

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  11. too many bad mummy moments to mention. But please include my piece on how I'd rather chew off my own arm than throw a kids' birthday party!
    http://mommyhasaheadache.blogspot.com/2008/07/ahoy-there-matey.html

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  12. I wrote a post way back in April which shows that I am a bad example to my kids :)

    http://wherethebrassbandsplay.com/2010/04/tiddlyompompom-thinks-its-time-to-change-my-ways/

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  13. Oh noooo, I have no kids and I'm sure stealing one for the purpose of participating is probably wrong. Does a cockatoo count?!!

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  14. Great idea for the carnival, Gappy! And I LOVE the satanic snowman, especially the 'Merry Xmas' appearing to be, as you put it, 'an oddly obscure threat.' The stuff of nightmares...

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  15. I can't wait to read this carnival - sounds like it's going to be hilarious....

    Here's mine http://www.frugalfamily.co.uk/2010/02/whats-the-most-embarassing-thing-you-have-done-as-a-parent.html

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  16. Eternally Distracted, It totally does! I'm sure your cockatoo sees you as some sort of maternal figure anyway. Has he finished squawking at the rain?!

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  17. Have the Monthy Python song in my head now...
    ;-)

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  18. I think your son shows great individualism - you must be doing something right!!! It's the kids who are perfect that give me the creeps: sooo Stepford!
    I think my worst Bad Mom moment was last year...still makes me smile when I remember the look on my youngest's face...http://tattieweasle.blogspot.com/2009/07/are-you-saint-mummy-or-why-i-will-never.html

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  19. Ooh, I have so many. I'll have to think about this.

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  20. Ooh good idea for a carnival. You've been tagged for an award over at mine. x

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  21. http://mdplife.blogspot.com/2009/10/this-parenting-lark-isnt-too-easy.html

    Hi, A post that I wrote before my blog was live to any viewers so it has not been read before (unless someone ewas really diligent and read my back catolgue! lol) It is a serious post about some of my less desirable qualities, I hope that is Ok. Thanks, Mich x

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  22. Here's my post http://babyrambles.blogspot.com/2010/06/if-supernanny-spent-day-in-my-house.html

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  23. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

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  24. For some reason my comment didn't show up earlier, show I'll write it again.

    I love this because it reminds me of something similar I did in art as a young child which my mum cherished and framed on the wall in our kitchen.

    I've written a post about some moments in which I seriously didn't know whether to laugh or cry. I think it was a mixture of both.

    It's called 'Creme de la creme' at http://amuseinnerme.blogspot.com/2010/06/creme-de-la-creme-aka-bad-mummy-moments_5562.html

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  25. Okay I debated between melancholy-bad and funny-bad and went with the latter.
    My Day in Bullets And It's Not Over Yet: http://www.lateenough.com/2010/03/my-day-in-bullets-and-its-not-over-yet/
    YAY CARNIVALS!

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  26. This is an old post but I think defines why Bad Mummy's are better than Alpha Mummy's!
    http://barenakedmummy.blogspot.com/2010/03/i-am-not-alpha-mummy-and-i-dont-care.html
    BNMx

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